3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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