awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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