A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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