the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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