he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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