Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
