i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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