Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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