guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
