What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
