Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
