Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
