dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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