I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
