also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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