just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Where is the hickey?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
