if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
