why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
