i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
