He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
