a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
