he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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