alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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