why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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