Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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