Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
