So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
