Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize