That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
