therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
