Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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