"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i will never coherently bang her
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
