Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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