he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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