barbara walters just said penis...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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