She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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