I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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