Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
