He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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