we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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