You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize