I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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