Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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