Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
