First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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