I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize