spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
love makes seman taste better
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
