he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
