Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
