peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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