fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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