no, he came in my armpit
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
