you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
