Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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