He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I faked an abortion last night.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
