Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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