so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
