Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
