I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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